"Did you forget
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget....About me"
it's the third month of school and a month have past since my first aunt passed on. Deep inside the emotions churns uncontrollably trying to surge out of my body in forms of tears. "I won't forget" is the line i'll always think when my close ones go...
Relieved at the thought that we managed to celebrate her last birthday, and i managed to "serve" my last chinese new year tea to her.. "hope your studies will improve and may you be filial, and stay healthy" it's the same lines recited over new years but this impacted me greatly knowing that this is the last time i get to hear her voice, to see her frail body, to feel the warmth of her care and concern hidden between the lines of her gruelling nags.
thank you for teaching me morals that can never be studied and may you rest in peace.
Since school started i haven't talked to any of my family members. not really cause of some internal conflict but because everyone is so busy. I would find myself in another argument over the most minor problems or left "forgotten"... SYF, studies and the calamity of cheer eats into most of my time, i'll find myself sleeping on my desk or the edge of my bed then waking up at 1-2am plus to continue studying. School is no better, the class is separated. "5C is our class, 5A go one side..." little did they know how much it hurts when they toss such sarcastic comments, little did they know how much i cry every night hoping that the class is ONE WHOLE!!! gosh it's the last year... argh forget it...yes since its what their doing now
is forgetting everything, everyone in order to "slack" ensuring their total freedom...then i surrender. be alone. yes lone forever. lone all you one, but don't you dare disturb my momentum.
i'm trying my best not to cry or shout in school.
Calamity in cheer was no better. We're all tired, exhausted and drained to the last plasma of our souls. So what's this crap or bullshit of wanting to quit? we've come this far. Our stamina is stronger than this, i know. win? lose? is judged on whether we're able to work together as a family and still be able to have fun...."having fun is more important that the trophy"
"please don't forget!"
JAn~jaN janice the TIRED
CHOCOLATE ;;
9:48 AM <3